sometimes, i wonder what happened, but most of the time i would rather spare the energy it would take to correct such digressions, and go back to bed.

sometimes the loneliness grips with an unexpected tenacity,
and then again, why should it be unexpected?

SPOILER!!!!!!!

HPATDH was both predictable and a bit unoriginal. RIP Dobby, the best character J.K.(Just Kidding) Rowling ever created.

Both of our half empty glasses make one empty glass.

i am not quite sure what has happened. but to say the least, things fall apart.

holy fuck. i am old, and i didn't even realize the severity of the situation.

shoot me.

Don't really have much to say, other than i am an idiot for taking input on the topic of my major from people that don't know shit. Should have realized this about l ish years ago.

Date:	2006-10-13 21:03
Subject:	i feel like something that has exited the business end of Bill O'Rielly
Security:	Public
Mood:	depressed
Music:	TSP - Behold! The Night Mare

Three words to describe myself right now: [Paralyzing Self Doubt].
I seem to be lacking the fundamental ability to grow self confidence.
From playing bass to talking to strange people, I cannot seem to develop the ability to walk into a room like I own it (in the not so egotistical way), make friends or influence people.
So what can I do other than sit in my room and listen to the people enjoying themselves below?
Nothing, apparently.

So, the last month of my life has seen me move into an apartment with drew, smoke way too much, and also convert to smoking to hand rolled cigarettes. yeah, im taking biology, physics, calculus, middle east history and labs this year, and also trying to keep my new car, 1997 mazda miata on the road long enough to finish the supra. the miata is incredible though...

i found a sweet blanket, weird as that sounds, at a hippie head shop here on emerald isle. it was $30 dollars, a pittance for such an awesome item... it is a knit blanket of the album cover from my favorite Hendrix album, First Rays of the New Rising Sun.


It will grace the couch in my apartment.

Date:	2006-08-10 00:38
Subject:	nyah
Security:	Public
Mood:	blank
Music:	AvA - Do It For Me Now

Well, there seems to be a severe disconnect between myself and all of the other people my age at this particular vacating spot. All any girls here talks about is the club, which is really a little shithole next to the shithole pool parlor where no one can play for shit. The other extreme are the drunks who sit on the beach every night until sunrise getting plastered.

I am just glad to be out of that god forsaken warehouse. Mayhaps I will party tomorrow night, but not likely.

Ten days until I turn 20. Where the fuck has the time gone?


"Thinner, thinner, into the air..." APC

Well as I set off for vacation, after my forty some odd hour work week this week, I am currently sitting in a Dayton Airport terminal waiting for my flight, and recalling what other people have said about this album on places such as Amazon.com I figured I would give my $.02 worth. Angels & Airwaves' album, We Don't Need to Whisper, is definitely an awesome album. Tom DeLonge's vocal performance is perhaps the most remarkable part of this cd, as it is incredible. I have never heard him sing so well, nor have his lyrics and songwriting been better. The lyrics for "Do It For Me Now" are haunting, and the spacey reverb guitar, combined with the very tasteful synth creates an incredible blur of electronica and thick reverb guitar fuzz. I give it an A-, because not all of these songs are up to par with the first five and the last one, but it is still a good album because of the first five.

Also want to tell you about these crazy guys named Girl Talk because these guys are freaking fantastic. Their specialty are mash ups, where they combine beats, licks, riffs, vocals, etc from random other bands to create entirely new creations. This stuff is amazing.

By the way, I just saw a stand selling "The Little Pink Tool Kit" in the airport here in Charlotte, N.C. I'm sorry, but that has to be one of the stupidest things I have seen. Hey, I bet you can carry that on with you.

So, i went and saw Clerks II tonight, and let me tell you, it is just as phenomenal as the first one was. And I especially, especially love the fact that Kevin Smith used the song 1979 as the song during the pivotal emotional scene of the movie. The scene when Dante first begins to decide for himself. Due to the fact that 1979 in particular is such an emotionally loaded song for me, i nearly cried.

I felt like a little bitch, lol.

But seriously, I can truly say that I empathetize with Dante, with his lack of drive and direction.

As with the first one, I give Clerks II a 10/10 for its sheer genius and brilliance. There is also a lot of the same profanity, and ridiculous lewdness and sexual content, all of the things you have come to associate with Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith.

So the other day, I was at work, and I heard a Death Cab song that I actually enjoyed, alot. And almost immediately, I realized exactly why I had liked the song so much. It sounded exactly like the way death is described when Lyra and Will emerge from the land of the dead in The Amber Spyglass.

So, I figured that I would slap a post up here suggesting that anybody who has time to read three books this summer, that you read the "His Dark Materials" series by Philip Pullman. The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife, and The Amber Spyglass. Now being me, a very callous individual, well i guess that isn't entirely true, what I am trying to say is that it is very difficult to move me to tears. At the end of The Amber Spyglass I wept, openly. Honestly, the only way to describe these books are pure genius, and they are going to be a movie too, which I am anxiously awaiting. Somehow, however, I secretly hope that people won't go see the movie, because there is a part of me that wants to keep this my little secret to share with my friends, although many of them already know about it. But seriously, I'm pretty sure they will be phenomenal and recieve the kind of attemtion if not more than the LotR trilogy.

On another note, the KKKM (Kris, Kelley, Katie, Matt) have been officially absolutely and completely demolished, most likely forever with Katie's move to Philly. That leaves one in Terre Haute, Two in Cincinnati that never see each other, and One in Philadelphia/St. Louis. Life is slipping away.

Soon I will post the beautiful quote on here from The Amber Spyglass about death, after I read it again and cry some more.

"If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark"

So basically what I have gleaned from very ignorant letters to editors and comments from people online and whatnot has led me to the conclusions that America hates Football (Soccer):

-- America is a nation obsessed with ultra-extreme action and, unfortunately, a lack of understanding and patience in general, but particularly for those things they do not take the time to learn or understand, such as the beautiful subtlety that is football.

-- America is also obsessed with the impact that an official has on a game of any sort, hence the advent of Instant Replay. They have disdain for the humanity of a football referee.

-- America has never won, and therefore the sport should be shunned because we are not successful. Well, that sir, is wrong, Paul from Philadelphia. The American Women won the Women's World Cup in 1991 and again in 1999. Twice!

On another note, I will notify everyone when i move to europe and get the hell out of this festering closed-minded cesspool.

so, lets hit the key points here:

-- my celica has passed away.
-- my mom's business was acquired.
-- my own emotional distress.
-- the extreme mismanagement out at work.
-- my general anxiety about the future.

yeah, its the end of an era, i will be finding a new car.

pretty much,
the only thing to say is,
i can't listen to my favorite band,
because i become overwhelmingly emotional.

this sucks.
fuck me.
i'm out.

In a strange attempt to sway voting patterns, the conservative constituents of this country's government have been phasing out civics classes as a manner of creating apathetic voters that allow single issues to swing an election, i.e. gay marriage. This was brought to light by a new friend of mine, who happens to be fairly liberal, but also had a good point. When I asked one of my brothers, not naming names here, he could not give me a definite or concise answer as to how we got to the voting system we have today. Civics 101, right?

Well, with the results of the 2004 presidential election still stinging the liberals in this country, I realized that maybe all was not lost, because there were still people in this country outraged by the way the Bush won, and has continued his mal-government. According to "John", to protect his identity, in the most recent election in California, the Electronic Voting Machines used were hacked into using a PDA. I am not sure of the accuracy of this information, but if what he says is true, then the electronic machines that were forced into Florida under Jeb Bush's insistance could very well have been hacked.

But the rest of what i had to say is primarily paraphrase, from an article written by Robert F Kennedy Jr, entitled "Was the 2004 Election Stolen?" In which, he raises an alarming set of statistics that very precisely point the finger at such republicans as Kenneth Blackwell, who was not only Ohio's Election Director but also one of the Staffers of Bush's Re-election campaign. In case you have forgotten, Ohio was the deciding state in the 2004 election. http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/10432334/was_the_2004_election_stolen</href>

Read it and decide for yourself, Fmr. Pres. Bill Clinton says that the investigation has turned up evidence that is "Compelling."

how does 1 kristian a kamphaus celebrate the independence of our country???
by launching bottle rockets at his friends in mock battle...